Marissa's Birthday and the Soulfly Show

Marissa's 24th Berfday Party

This was Marissa trying to take a picture of her new boobs for all of us. Unfortunately, Marissa's photography skills aren't as good as her new boob skills. So, ummm yeah, we'll just have to take her word on that, but "D" for effort Marissa!!!!

Here, the artist formerly known as "Bitchell" was found in the back on the party locked in a steamy embrace with one Mr. Hans Deerstein--a local celebrity who made out with over a third of the party that night.

I was so happy to actually see Matt Mitchell hanging out with us, I apparently turned completely fucking gay for the remander of this picture I don't remember taking. However, on a side note, I also didn't remember the mass singing of the national anthem (one and a half times) or drawing a Hitler mustache on Karim until I was reminded on Sunday, so yeah.... go team Big Fags!

Hey look, it's my good friend Chelsey... I apparently owe: her over half a jager/red bull, and Darren Kuzyk an apology. Also, if you look closely, you can see a small cartoon asian guy grabbing her nipple with chop sticks... Which beg's the question, "Where was Sean Denney during this party anyways?"

I think this picture pretty much speaks for itself... if it's any consolation, this was the first shot we all took that night, wait... that kind of makes it worse.

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Soulfly/Throwdown Concert

The fabulous Mr. Doug Ong drove us to the show... he either: A) was a little hyped up, or B) Learned to drive from Aldo

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Quick, what has one hand full, is too drunk to point at itself, and loves PBR? THIS GUY!!!!

These guys just got married, but Peach Fuzz McGoatee didn't spring for the delux wedding photo package, so I figured I'd be cool and use my former pro-photography skills and take some shots for them. I was going to send them the pictures, but the marriage got anulled the next day when she sobered up.

I wanted to take a picture of me pissing on this mo-ped, since the dude driving it was probably wearing a skirt... but unfortunately he was parked two rows down from a yellow jeep with a Don Juilo decal on it... so you can do that math on that one. Note: I especially like how he has a hooked-up exhaust system on this hog, haha.

After the show, we all went to Aldo's new condo and Doug kicked over my grape juice/vodka. Aldo has white carpeting... wait, let me say that again... ALDO has white carpeting, WHITE!!! Just cause ranch dressing is also white, doesn't mean it won't leave a stain when you spill that bucket of buffalo wings trying to do a flying people's elbow off of the coffee table, buddy.
Anyways, the real reason I took this picture was because it's the first time any of us have ever seen Aldo clean something, so I just wanted to see if the film would come out all distorted and blurry like pictures of bigfoot. And also to make sure we didn't hallucinate this.
On an extra side note: what kind of grown-ass man keeps grape juice in his refrigerator?

Here's Doug Ong eating Roberto's Taco Shop at one AM... come on Doug, you're a doctor, you went to medical school for eleven years and learned every fasces of the human body. You should know how bad this is going to fuck your shit up man!!!

This girl was licking everyone's eyeballs and taking pictures of it... I thought, "Wow... that's kind of wierd." But later that night she walked back into PT's covered in guacamole and flashing everybody, and at this moment it all came together and I realised she was just being "that girl" that night... so it all made sense in the end. Anyways, I told her hell no unless she bought me a drink. Needless to say, we all woke up with pink-eye the next day.

Ever see that SNL skit where Chris Kattan pretends to be a monkey man from the Amazon and runs around screaming "BaK!" and humping peoples legs and stuff? I'm not sure if that's what Doug was going for here, but this girl definitly seems less than pleased with it.... bad Mr. Peepers!!!

Yep, it's a picture of a broken golf club... pretty unexciting, huh? Well, that's only because you didn't see some guy our age start beating up an 89 year old dude in the parking lot and then get blasted in the head with a golf club. Lesson? Never mess with an 89 year old man in the grassy hills of Summerlin, it's their natural habitat, you'll get your ass kiiiiicked!!!

If you look closely at this picture, you can see this girl's soul.

These were some super scene kids... did you know if you're straight edged, you still eat at Roberto's at 4 o'clock in the morning? Yeah, I was confused too. One of the kids in that group was wearing a Throwdown hoodie, so I asked him if he went to the show, and he said, "Hell no, Throwdown sucks ass!!!" Once again, I was confused...

These chicks were violently making-out, grabbing eachother's boobs, and other various acts of drunk-vegas-chickary, So I--being a guy--took a picture. And I somehow managed to capture them in the least hot pseduo-lesbian pose EVER...

This chick was from Reno, she really likes going to Sparky's, Walker would probably hate her... That's right Walker, I'm pointing through this giant hooped earing at you, you buddy, because you and this chick have probably argued over what part of a dog's anatomy sweat comes from.

I've thought long and hard why the hell I took this picture and I can only come up with one hypothesis... I think that it was supposed to be a picture of Doug and this girl, but my drunk ass doesn't know the difference between horizontal or verticle or something. Anyways, Doug has on a pink leather wristband!

Undeniable photographic proof that the jukebox at the Summerlin PT's does indeed play Iron Maiden songs...

This girl is finishing the irish car bomb that Aldo spit back into his glass because he was too drunk to finish it... and no, we are not super gross assholes; she saw him do it, called him a pussy, gave me a highfive, and drank it. This chick is more hardcore than me... wow.